My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize