You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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