you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
