How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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