DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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