I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
