Me too!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My vagina is very pro this idea
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
