Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
