your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
