he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
is it fun? or sober?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
