why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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