i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
