But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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