Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
