So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
