HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And then my night got REAL pukey
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
