oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
