we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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