The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
