Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
