The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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