Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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