You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
and you fell through a lawn chair
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize