...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
