**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
