smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
