He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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