i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
