Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
