I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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