we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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