She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she smelled like a LAN party
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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