Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl

(313): View more from Michigan

you mean his girlfriend

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(407): View more from Florida

please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...

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(734): View more from Michigan

turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis

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(407): View more from Florida

Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."

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(785): View more from Kansas

one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight

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(281): View more from Texas

It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night

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(949): View more from California

Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke

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(415): View more from California

I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

Drunk me just hits it and quits it.

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