we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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