And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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