sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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