lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
