Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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