He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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