No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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