I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
