Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
