All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Let's paint friendship bongs
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
