ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
