well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
