is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
