Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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