I cockslap morals
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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