Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
