Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
