Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
