All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
