STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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