we're chasing vodka with high fives
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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