The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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