Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
