My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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