When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
