Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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