He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize